Learn2Write

Have you had a chance to travel with friends in a travel van? While travelling, the mood is usually ecstatic and the music is always upbeat. But, what if the music played (though the best) is constantly of the same beat and is broken in abrupt places? How would it be different if the DJ seamlessly transitioned between tracks by picking a similar beat or drip-feeding one track onto another and fading the other one out, like a smooth single song? Or how about if the movie played is just a sequence of different scenes abruptly cut at many places? The result would be a complete loss of interest generated due to a lack of elegant sequencing. 

Similarly, we have earlier seen that our travel experiences must be shared using implicit sensory images and linking words. Even then, though those carefully chosen sensory images cater to all five senses, there is still one issue left. Let’s see a typical example where one describes a deserted street at night from the perspective of a solitary walker to understand what that issue is.

“The dark desolate street rested in silence as the starry black sky loomed over the vacant surroundings. Amongst the closed shops, there was a lamppost. It was as solitary as every other inert thing on that street. The road stretched ahead, winding its way. Mewing cats and barking dogs walked along the path to drink water from the portholes that dotted the unkempt road…”

 This is a typical situation when images are simply thrown at the reader without effective transition in a descriptive essay. The description becomes a mere list of sensory images of the situation. The writer chucks everything at the reader with the hope that readers will be creeped out by the description of the deserted street. Here, the issue is that there is no sequencing – no anchor and the reader’s mind is at a loss. Now, this isn't a major problem, if we effectively transition between the items. Yet, many don't. So, how do we transition smoothly? We need to break down the original description.

• Moonlight stared down at the street. 
• The lamppost stood alone.
• Stray cats and dogs walking down the street filled with potholes.

After that, we need to look at how we could transition from the moonlight to the lamppost, and then from the lamppost to the stray animals on the street.

Moonlight stared down at the street. It was looking, gazing, focusing on one thing: a solitary lamppost amid deserted shops that stood quietly beside the street.The rest of the world was shrouded under a blanket of oozing and spreading ink. 

As opposed to the pitch black darkness, the lone streetlight with its weak light, fought to do its duty: shed some rays of light at the lonely passerby. Soft rays of light sheepishly slithered away from the post to the winding road, defeated. 

Slipping through the gravel and potholes, the rays extended their arms until they hit some moving creatures: stray animals that claimed the road to be their own. Scattered throughout the road were water-laden potholes that shimmered in the glow of the yellow street lamps. It made the animals partially visible, with an eerie glow. Consequently, distorted shadows danced through the length of the road and crossed the path of the solitary walker.

Did you note how the connection is made with sequenced vivid descriptions that are added to the base points that we stripped from the example?

Additionally, sprinkle a note of the mood of the passerby: These distorted shadows suggested disturbing thoughts to the man’s mind. With his eyes fixed on the bend on the road to cross the street, the passerby slowly quickened his pace, holding his breath, not wanting to disturb the nightlife on this deserted street. He just had one prayer on his lips: to reach home in one piece.

Did you see that by describing how the character reacts to his/her surroundings, the mood is created and the reader will feel it too? Additionally, since the traveller's perspective is what unites the entire picture into a harmonious whole, doing so helps to forge a connection between everything they see. Keep in mind that, you don't have the luxury of deploying jump scares as a scriptwriter does in movies. As a writer, you need to smoothly engage the reader’s senses and imagination to instil the desired mood.

If you would only remember one thing from this article, make it the fact that sequencing is what gives life to the framework of sensory images. Flesh the framework with appropriate gap fillers and this will make your travelogue/description pop in a way that might surprise even you.

Part 5: A Different Perspective

Have you imagined how life would be as someone or something else? Everyone has at some point in time written something from a different perspective. This perspective could be both living as well as non-living. The living ones mainly are animals or birds. The non-living ranges from a stationary car to a light bulb atop a high pole. Let us consider a living being’s perspective, namely a dog.

Everyone loves a dog, don’t they? Those among us who are dog owners are always trying to get into the heads of our pets and understand what they are thinking about. What is really going on in that furry little head of theirs? Those quizzical eyes are forever keeping us flummoxed about their mood and desires. Well, most of the time, they want treats; now that is easy to guess! But imagine writing about a dog being in their shoes. What if you could look inside the mind of one of those cute, cuddle-worthy canines even for an hour and collect their curious thoughts?

As a dog, we can write about our adventures, experiences and thoughts. What fun we had at the beach! What a treat the theme park was! How delicious that titbit off the dining table was! Ever imagined when dogs of all sizes and ages are feeling scared? How many of you dog lovers have your dogs cowering under your feet or curling up uncomfortably in their beds at the sound of thunder, or worse, firecrackers? What would be going through your head if you were one?

Could it be something like this?

My ever-active ears picked up on that familiar yet strange sound. He was here, again. The rumble seemed very soft but distinct. I looked over at Penny who seemed engrossed in her drawing. She didn’t seem to hear him. Then, did I imagine it? I admit I have thought about some lip-smacking gravies or biscuits that I swipe off plates when no one is looking. I even have dreams about running on the open grassland at full speed as the wind tickles my Yorkshire terrier furry ears and belly. Penny tells me numerous times that my legs often move vigorously while I sleep. But why on earth will I dream of someone scary like the rumble that is always searching for me like a predator? What did I ever do to him? I am no bigger than a rabbit in size and heart.

Then the sound came again. This time it was unmistakable. With louder explosions. Even Penny looked up from her colouring. Her eyes seemed to scan the ceiling from the right to the left. Then she looked towards where I was, and our eyes met. Her quizzical knitted brows unfurled and turned into wide arcs of realisation as she looked at me. From her eyes as wide as an open window, I knew that the look on my face must have been of pure horror. She saw it. She inhaled sharply in response and before I knew it, my legs leapt up on the bed, over the cushions and into her outstretched arms. She always knew how I felt at such times. I buried my face in the nook of her elbows as she wrapped her arms around my small body. The familiar smell from her was always a source of comfort for me. Hmmm…. butter cookies; she must have been munching on them earlier. Even I wanted one. But wait. I need my pursuer vanquished first.  

Then suddenly the monster that seemed quite far away was suddenly over our house. How did he get here so fast? The entire house shook from his thundering temper as he continued to strike the roof and tried to get in. He caused such loud sounds in anger that the entire sky echoed with it. This time I was sure he would get me. I have been elusive so far and always escaping in the nick of time, but he always seems to know where I am. In every room in the house where I hid it, he appeared, right outside the window. Even when I dug under the pillow, he seemed to find me. There was no relief from his relentless searching, I’m telling you. How did he always know where I was? But this time I was confident that Penny would save me. With her around, I always felt safe. She would tell him to go away and leave me alone.

Are you scared of thunder? What about loud crackers? Small animals are too. But how do they express that to you, the owners? Most of the time they think it is a sign of danger, so they begin shivering out of fear. Even our hands quake when we are scared, don’t they? In the above passage, do you notice the small details that make the thoughts and feelings of the dog even more distinct and feel like they could belong to an actual dog? Very playful yet sensitive to loud noises. They love to eat as well as play around. All those things are also woven into the lines without deviating from the main topic.

Can you see the numerous sensory details that have been incorporated into the paragraphs? For a topic like this where your thoughts and feelings play a key role, you must inundate the reader with as many sensory descriptions as you can. You must have also noticed that an innocent and sweet animal like a dog will not know what thunder or lightning is. For them, any loud sound will indicate some form of danger. That is why we have used personification to describe the loud thundering sound. They are scared mostly because they think they will be harmed.

Now, choose an animal and get writing about their thoughts and feelings!

Part 4: A Children’s Playground

The school bells chime at the end of a lesson and announce playtime. Then, you hear squeals of laughter, at first softly emanating from the many burrows of the school building, then getting louder till they fill the atmosphere with their loud tinkling like bells on a cycle. Don’t you just love the idea of going to the playground? There is open space and lots of opportunities for amusing diversions that are just perfect for frolicking frivolously.  

Why do we love a playground so much? They are everywhere: school grounds, community parks, theme parks, at special festivities. Yet, there is something about them that opens up your heart to unlimited opportunities and makes you believe you are invincible.

Imagine you had an incredible day at the playground with your best friend and wish to tell your parents about it. It was more than fun filled. It was roaring. You had a ball! You try to express how ecstatic you were. You try to tell them how riding the swing made you feel. Most of the time, a description would go thus:

My best friend pushed me so high on the swing that I felt like a plane taking off from the runway. It was amazing how my heart felt as I rode upwards and then backwards at the same improbable speed. Do you know that your stomach feels empty as you come down towards the ground? I went so high up that while coming down for a moment, I felt like I was going to feel sick. It made me dizzy but in a good way.

What about describing what you did at an inflatable bouncy castle? Your friends, and no doubt you too, must have come up with the most outrageous things to do there which would otherwise be very dangerous on the hard ground. This was the chance to show off the gymnastic skills that you have been secretly harbouring in your heart:

The airbags were so soft and firm; at the same time, it was really fun to be jumping on them without any fear. It would hold you and wrap around you so that you didn’t get hurt no matter how you fell. My friend and I decided to attempt the backflip, and even though I fell on my back, I was fine. 

These are quite good ways of writing about how the experiences were for you. You have not only described what you did but also how you felt. So, sensory details have been included. You are trying to rope them into the experience by asking questions. There are some accurate descriptions of the movements too. You have also rightly added the tireless tumbles your tummy took. 

But how about going a step further to make your essay more exciting and vivid?  

I have never gone higher on any swing before! At first, when my friend pushed me, the swing began to wobble unsteadily and I thought I was going to fall. But I held on until my knuckles became white. Slowly and steadily, the to and fro of the movement began to build. At each rise and fall, I began to go higher, till I felt like I was even above the top bar of the frame. At one point, as I plummeted backwards, I thought I was free falling with incredible speed only to be raised up higher again. Then I could feel my chest cavity become empty and my heart jump to my throat as I hurtled towards the ground. But the seat of the swing then took me on another journey skyrocketing, and I let myself go this time, leaving all my troubles behind. I was up in the air, and I never wanted to come back down.

Then, you go on to describe the inflatable castle:

The inflatable bouncy castle is literally the best thing in the world. Did you know that the harder you fall, the higher your next jump is? The air inside the bags exaggerates your movement tossing you upwards with nothing to hold on to. At first, you feel like a dingy on turbulent waters, but if you can control it, you can have the best time of your life. My best friend challenged me on how creatively we could make the jumps. I accepted! Now was the time to do those incredulously impossible moves which would otherwise be deemed dangerously daring. I cannot begin to tell you the ideas that popped into my head. I fell on my face but got back right up; I landed on my bottom, but there were no bruises; I even attempted a somersault and successfully docked on my feet. My friend was having a much harder time, so to rub salt in his wound, I even curtsied to him like an ice skater after completing a double spin.

Do you see how much more realistic the descriptions are? The various feelings your head goes through, the sensations your body experiences, the use of the right word (at the right places).  

Just like a sheet of drawing is considered good if it resembles the real thing it was imitating, a piece of writing is considered realistic if it contains an accurate depiction of the actual event. So, the next time you want your audience to feel exactly how you felt, say it to them this way.

How do you prefer travelling? Do you choose to sit down and read books that open the doors of the world to you? Do you prefer travelling with friends/family or solo? Is the thought of travelling alone terrifying or liberating? You could never be sure unless you try, could you? But one thing is certain: once you dare to go alone, you would be more vigilant of your surroundings, the time and even other people. By being observant, you could easily write travelogues and walk the readers through your trip with images, personal experiences and genuine emotions.

Like always, these solo trips don’t have to be to far-off geographical destinations; they could be as simple as going to the supermarket, the park or even the local library. And after taking the solo trip, who wouldn’t love to brag about their travel experience? But remember, we need to use something that would help us organise what we went through so that our travelogue will have a smooth flow. This is where a variety of linking words can help you.

In order to tell an impressive story about your solo trip, in the first place, learn to use some ‘linking words’ that help you form a coherent narrative and make your listeners enjoy it as a story. Did you notice the various linking words used here? Listening to someone's daily routine with repeated use of 'then' is tedious: ‘I start my day at...then...then...then...then…’(although there is nothing grammatically wrong with it).

With that being mentioned, how to describe a solo trip to the supermarket?

The just-risen sun shone through my window curtains and cast shadows of doubt on my already troubled mind. I was tired of depending on others to get my school supplies; I always had to wait till my older siblings or parents were available to accompany me. Though I knew the drill: make a list, get ready, take the essentials, cross the road carefully, shop and return safely; I never considered doing it alone. However, as the new day dawned on me with new aspirations to travel solo, I was willing to give it a shot. It’s always the first time that is very hard. But I guess, because of the good weather, my mother allowed me (although reluctantly) to go to the neighbourhood supermarket to buy some fresh fruits and school supplies.

With my bag pack ready, I set out sticking to the lane that I had always travelled, but nothing felt familiar. I was engulfed by a sense of being watched by every person that passed by. The boundary walls looked unusually large and the road seemed to stretch on for miles; I tried to walk tall, as much as my neck and height would allow. Moreover, people eyed me suspiciously fearing that I might be lost or up to no good. Although the sense of being peered upon by millions of eyes from above was overwhelming, I reverted their gapes with a determined stance, a focused stare and a confident smile. I had to take this trip. I had convinced my mind and no speck of doubt would be allowed to creep in. 

 Finally, I reached the traffic light crossing: the only major obstacle that now stood between me and the welcoming doors of the supermarket. Fortunately, there was a large group of commuters who wanted to cross the road along with me. Nobody seemed to notice the fly in the soup as I blended in with the group. As the signal turned green, I was carried along with the wave and safely plodded onto the pavement across the street. The group then disbanded in different directions. I felt elated as I skipped forward to close the gap between my destination and me. I entered as the automatic doors opened up for me.

A gush of cold wind, along with different smells ranging from fresh baked goods and sweet fruit invaded my senses. I was enthralled by the endless aisles of household and grocery items. To check out items from my list, I darted straight to the fruits and vegetable section. I was deluged by the vibrant colours that seemed like eye candy: kiwis, bananas, oranges, tomatoes, cucumbers and others were all in one area of the store. Carefully, I picked a bunch of cherries and felt their springy, smooth flesh; I got my pick. After that, I darted towards the soft, fuzzy skin of peaches; they all looked succulent, but I wasn’t sure whether they would be juicy and ripe inside. I could barely resist having a bite out of these luscious fruits. 

Afterwards, I went to the stationery aisle. Surprisingly, the aisle was jammed with parents and children picking up back-to-school items. Though I would have loved to strip the entire shelf of its colourful and captivating contents, I restrained myself as too many things meant  I had to calculate a lot and balance it out with the money I had. With my shopping done, I entered the checkout lane that wound like a snake. I hated this part the most because of the monotonous, shrill beep the scanner made as it read an item's barcode. At last, my turn came and I was billed out. I stuffed my backpack with my purchases and walked back home the same way I had come. The walls and the lanes didn’t seem weird on the return trip. I reached home and unloaded my backpack and my recount of the day to my parents. My parent’s faces lit up like the morning sun, pleased that their youngest child too could create orbits of her own. 

My trip to the supermarket taught me a valuable lesson: there is nothing a child cannot master if they are willing to observe and wait for their turn to perform. Besides, never take any initiative for granted. In short, it’s ok to be scared, but with one step at a time, you will get the hang of it.

Likewise, when writing a travelogue, you need to ensure that the narration is well structured. Do not exaggerate your thoughts and feelings, but do write in a way that makes your readers a part of your journey. Keeping your narrative chronological with appropriate linking words, interspersing it with genuine feelings and summarising significant events is a good way to stay on track.

Part 3: A forest fire